Monday, May 21, 2007

21st May 2007

Argh. I woke up only to find myself afflicted with a staggering sore throat. It hurts every time I swallow, but itches more ever so often, forcing me to gag as a reflex action should I fail to swallow... A serious dilemma I'm in here.

Ya, I woke up today only to find that it was way past 7 am, which means that Doreen will be going to school unaccompanied. Sigh.

I managed to complete 2 of my 7 e-learning week projects, which is a good thing. Just 5 more to go. Drive on, baby!

Doreen had CME lesson today, and like I said earlier, at this point of time she will be learning about sexuality. According to her, today's lesson was on BGR, and happily enough, she was always pinpointed by her teacher, one Mr Tang, to answer questions regarding this issue. Apparently, her classmates knew about our relationship and happily chanted my name. Approximately the same time, around 12+, I sneezed. Thrice. Do I see a coincidence? Ya, one of the questions was that if her boyfriend were to suddenly ask her to have sex with her before marriage, what would she do. Her answer, to my dismay, was "I dunno". Ah well. Upon hearing this from her, I pressed on to let her reveal her stand. She said "No, because we are underage." Unsatisfied, I hypothesized that we were in legal age. After more inquisitions from me, and a slight hesitation later, she blurted out a huge "No, because we are not married!" Now, that was the answer I was looking for. Even though she admitted that looking at my behavior, I was not one to do such a thing, and of that I agree, I fear that my thoughts may waver. My greatest concern is that when I am enlisted for National Service, I could be influenced by my roommates, and worse still, living in an all boys only environment, lower my defenses and succumb to temptation. Haix; we guys have one brain, and one penis, but not enough blood to run both! Should that happen, I would require Doreen to be completely steadfast, and reject my "requests" no matter how many times I ask, scold me even, if need be.

Many times I wonder why God has to set such traps for us. Many people call them trials. But the more I ponder, the clearer the mist becomes, though I am afraid it will never completely dissipate. Apparently, when I am reminiscent of my past, I realize that all the time, even though sometimes I fall short of God's desire, He has always been there with me, waiting for me to ask for His help! Ever, he provides an escape route! Only when I solemnly compose myself down, and go to him with total surrender and reveredness, will the problems be solved with the best possible solution, one that no man can think of! This also humbles me, knowing that one cannot achieve much without God! How great is our God, so great and mighty, yet to save a wretch like me! He is most worthy of our praise!

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